#MGMonday #BookReview "The Golden Book: The Blademaster of Golara" by David H Mines

 I love fantasy books, and I love adventure so, put those two genres together, and I get very excited! I was, therefore, delighted when I was offered the opportunity to review this book. The author sent me a copy in exchange for an honest review.

The book can be purchased here.

Summary

Matthew is an average boy who doesn't realise his father is the Blademaster, a title given to one person capable of wielding the sword of the elements. This sword can metamorphosise, depending on what the Blademaster needs. The sword of wind can creating tornados, while the sword of water can manipulate (you guessed it!) water.

When Matthew's father goes missing, and is presumed dead, Matthew is given a special book that can transport him to his father's native world. There, he finds out that he is the new Blademaster and begins a quest to seek out the evil Black Knights and hopes to find what happened to his father.

Reviewing... The Plot

I love stories about parallel worlds, and it's always delightful to read someone else's worldbuilding. In The Golden Book, Matthew can travel between worlds with the help of his special book. I really liked how the book was the portal, and it offers great scope for future stories. Perhaps there are more worlds to discover!

The ideas for the plot were great, and I looked forward to seeing how the story ended. Of course, as it is the first in a series, the ending wasn't entirely final but enough ends were tied up to satisfy the reader's curiousity.

Reviewing... The Characters

The three main characters were Matthew, Ike and Alice. While the boys and Alice were suitably different, Matthew and Ike were a little too similar for my liking. I would honestly prefer for there to be distinct character traits, unique to each of them. There were little concerns about how similar the dynamic was between them to the relationships between Harry, Ron and Hermione in Harry Potter. Honestly, I was just desperate for Alice to turn out to be bad.

I feel that Matthew's uncle, Sterling, was a well rounded character. He obviously had a complicated history with his brother which I'm guessing will be explained in future books. I liked this character as he was generally relatable.

I feel there were perhaps too many characters, more than the story needed. A brutal edit would benefit the story, and prune out the unnecessary characters.

Reviewing... The World-Building

I think the author did the world building very well indeed. I really enjoyed how the world had that old fantasy air to it, but there was some of the mod-cons that we're used to now. I also enjoyed how magic was dealt with. I liked how there were different magical creatures too, and particularly liked the thought of the sea monster's teeth seeming like stalactites.

Reviewing... The Editing

Honestly, I think this book is in need of a really stern edit, starting with a developmental edit, and finishing with proofreading. There are things I'm going to bring up here in the hope that it might not only help the author in future books, but help any other writer who may be reading this review:

- Every time a new character was introduced, I knew their hair colour, eye colour, skin colour height and clothes. This included random characters that were only present for a page, characters who (forgive my honesty) I didn't really care about. I started skipping the paragraph as soon as a character was introduced because I knew what was coming, and I knew it wasn't in any way important to the story. Unless a character's appearance tells me something about their character, or unless it is extremely unusual like the characters with orange skin, then I don't want to know. Also, how easy is it really to see someone's eye colour? You have to be standing fairly close. Out of the many work colleagues I have, how many eye colours can I remember? Absolutely none.

- What was the Mum thinking? Why was she so cool with her only child running off on extremely dangerous adventures? Adventures which had potentially killed his father? This is why many protagonists in middle grade novels are orphans. I'm not suggesting this as it's such a tired trope, but it needs to be carefully thought out, even something like an adult persuading the mum that they'll look out for him?

- Too many characters - I've already covered this one, but it's something to bear in mind. If a character doesn't have an important role to play, is it really necessary to include them?

- Don't kill a mother bear and then steal its cub. And then pretend that you're good for looking after the cub that you orphaned. Yeah, just don't. Unless you're a baddy, of course.

- Read your book aloud. There were many occasions when words were repeated too close to each other. It disrupts the flow. The best way to ensure this doesn't happen is to read it aloud, or listen to Word reading it aloud.

- Said is not dead. This is something I pick up on a lot when editing. Be very hesitant about using weird and wonderful words instead of said. Why? The word 'said' is invisible, meaning your brain takes it in without needed to really process it. And does the reader need to know that a character 'complained'? Shouldn't that be obvious by what they say?

- While I enjoyed the use of stories such as the Three Billy Goats Gruff, and Pinocchio, there were instances when the book was a little too close to popular culture than was comfortable. For example, when the troll and Alice were playing with riddles, some of the passage was taken word-for-word from Bilbo's scene in Gollum's cave.

Most importantly, while it's important to redraft yourself, it's vital that you get a professional to edit your book, and the meaner they are, the better. When I pass on my books to better editor, I give her explicit instructions to be as mean as she possibly can. It's much better that you get brutal honesty before a book is published. Remember that editing is not proofreading. It's not about looking for typos. It's about making sure the language is accurate, making sure the characters are well developed, making sure the plot remains strong. A good edit is worth its weight in gold.

I really liked the book's formatting. The chapter headings were lovely and margins were very suitable. 

So, overall...

The plot of the story is very good, and the worldbuilding was well thought-out. The story would benefit from a good, thorough edit. I would be interested in seeing how the author develops his writing the more he does.